Blog: The calm before the (corn) storm

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click image to zoomModern Farm WifeModern Farm WifeModern Farm Wife blogger Jessica Folkema and her husband, "Dairy Man." The tall, swaying stalks out my bedroom window make it impossible to ignore: fall is here. More specifically, as the Dairy Man keeps reminding me, corn harvest is almost here.

DM is charged with nervous energy and dancing around the house humming “It’s the mooooost wonderful tiiiiiime of the yeeeeeear.”

I, on the other hand, start hearing the music from Jaws: “Daaaaa dum, daaaaa dum, daaaaaa dum da dum daaaa dum.” This week truly is the calm before the storm. Before the sharknado of farming activities, if you will.

People, a corn storm is brewing.

Jessica FolkemaJessica Folkema

It’s time to prepare, to brace myself. Call it mental calisthenics. As I stand on the precipice of a few weeks alone, it’s important to stretch my farm wife coping mechanisms (and stock up on dry cereal and wine).

This is my third corn harvest out in the boondocks (read about year one and two here). I’m not a rookie. But it will still be a shock to my system when DM slips into the delirium that can only be caused by corn harvest.

Over the next few weeks, we will harvest approximately 1,100 acres of corn babies. (Well, I suppose they’re corn adults at this point. *Sniff* They grow up so fast.) This will involve DM spending countless hours in the tractor building monstrous piles of corn covered with tires and plastic and seeing a whole lot of this:

Jessica FolkemaJessica Folkema

Unlike some farm wives, I don’t get very involved in the process. I work an 8-5 job wearing pencil skirts and stilettos and haven’t the foggiest idea how to operate farm machinery (for good reason). I’m currently planning EIGHT work events for this fall and stress-eating peanut M&Ms like it’s my job. My role on the dairy is to support, ensure DM is eating something every day, and keep myself entertained.

Because, really. Can you see me driving a tractor?

Jessica FolkemaJessica Folkema

I do not have the farming wardrobe figured out.

For all of the craziness these next few weeks will bring, I don’t want to miss the excitement, the progress, or the beauty of this time of year.

Corn harvest may signify dinners alone, an inconceivably exhausted DM, and a depressed Jersey the pup, but it’s also the culmination of so much hard work.

Despite a weird, wet spring, our corn was planted with intention and care. Dairy Man spent half his life checking pivots and making sure the babies were getting enough water. The leafy green stuff has survived dry weeks, wet weeks, and gale-force winds.

It feels good to be this close to the finish line. Corn harvest represents time well spent. It promises that our bovine ladies will have plenty of food over the next year. It also gives me large hills to scurry around on like a mountain goat.

Jessica FolkemaJessica Folkema

My biggest compliant is that I will lose the blossoming privacy screens surrounding our house. Things always feel a little forlorn when the corn comes down.

Jessica FolkemaJessica Folkema

But for now, I will savor these final days of summer. I’ll soak in quality time with DM. I’ll take quiet moments to sit in the grass and let the rustling whisper of the stalks speak to my soul.

Just a few more days, my pretties.

For more adventures from an urbanite learning to live the life of a modern farm wife, visit

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Barnet, Vermont  |  October, 04, 2013 at 11:21 AM

Cute story, been there done that. I'll bet you could drive a tractor though.

Ohio  |  October, 04, 2013 at 03:50 PM

No Doubt!! A skirt is what I wear when farming: planting, tilling, unloading hay, taking loads to town . . . Much cooler than jeans!!

argentina  |  October, 04, 2013 at 06:16 PM

Hi! on this side of the world, spring is coming, that means sowing season, since we use no-tillage system, we depend on rain! so, my own DM starts with his rain anxiety condition, which I have to cope with! I can`t (or don`t want to) drive a tractor either, I also work in heels and the rest of the day and night I`m a mom. this is also a very intense time for us! it`s really good to know that I`m not alone, seeing your pictures made me remind the first time I visited a farm, of course I went in heels! I had no idea where we were going! but in the end I marry this wonderful man my sons admire and think he is some kind of farming superhero (yes, like Ironman, but in Carhartt!)

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