While many of us appreciate solid communication, understanding that is how relationships are built, sometimes we tell people only what they want to hear. Hank Wagner, a fourth-generation dairy farmer, president of Wagner Farms, Inc., and a certified leadership training coach, encourages us to lift everyone up around us by telling them not only what they want to hear, but also what they need to hear or just be a good listener.
Wagner recently spoke on a PDPW podcast about the importance of you, where he underscored the importance of good communication skills.
“People are important and valuable, and therefore our communication with each other is extremely important and very powerful,” he says, posing the question that when communicating, do we tell people what they want to hear or what they need to hear? He replies that it generally depends.
“There are also times where the correct position to be in is silence or to be quiet,” he says, adding that regardless of what you tell people, you must remain honest.
“People will see through what you’re telling them if you’re not being truthful,” he says, sharing that there is a difference between fact and opinion. “We must realize that our opinion is not necessarily fact.”
If something is asking you for advice or expecting advice from you, Wanger shares that puts you in the position of being a coach or a mentor.
“I’ve got friends that I’ve made it clear to them that I want them to tell me what I need to hear,” he shares. “Our relationship is based on that I respect their opinion. I respect their knowledge, their wisdom, their experience, and I want them to tell me what I need to hear.”
However, Wanger throws caution flags saying just because you have a position of authority doesn’t mean we should always be looking to correct or to judge.
“There’s a time to exercise silence and then not say anything,” he says. “We must realize that there is always more than one solution to every single problem. Our opinion, our experience, our advice is not necessarily the only option to help that person. So sometimes it’s important to either just be quiet until we gather all the information and all of the options to help that person, or, we need to point out that this is our opinion.”
With all this being said, Wanger reminds the audience that you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. He shares that we must keep this in mind when communicating with others.
“Save your breath,” he says. “If they don’t want help, you’re not going to be able to help them.”
The next time you are talking to someone, think about whether you are going to tell them what they want to hear, what they need to hear, or just listen.
To listen to Wagner’s entire personal development podcast on the, ‘The Importance of You,’ click: Podcast | PDPW
