Don’t Make Thanksgiving with Family a Test of Tolerance
Farm life can be demanding. The to-do list never gets done and some days it can be a challenge working with family. Especially if sorting cattle is on that to-do list. Factor in a lackluster milk check, a pile of bills and broken-down equipment and bickering can come fast and furious.
My word of advice is to take a couple of deep breaths and try to hit the pause button when you can. I know this is easier said than done.
And, as the holidays approach and we take off the barn boots to gather around the dining room table for a family meal, try not to bring up who left the skid loader unfueled, broke the latch on the gate, or showed up late to work. It is so easy to use the opportunity to gather as time for a business meeting and to catch up on work stuff, but it’s very important to create separation between family and business.
Thanksgiving is becoming a less attended event because family estrangement has increased. In fact, at least 27 percent of Americans are estranged from a member of their own family, and research suggests about 40 percent of Americans have experienced estrangement at some point.
Realize there is a difference between working together and being a family together. Don’t make Thanksgiving a test of tolerance, instead try to pause and create family memories together away from the barn and away from the field. Create joy and happiness that will allow you to fill your heart with gratitude.
Three Tips to on Balancing Farm and Family
- Communicate. Talk, as well as listen. Not just in business meetings. Set time away from the farm to have family dinners and talk about what’s going on in your life away from the farm.
- Carve out time for family. Between chores and the endless to-do list, push pause. Even if it’s for a couple of hours around the dinner table talking about your day or planning a family movie night. Open the doors to older generations, too.
- Look at the big picture. Your dream was likely to work on the family farm. Use time away from the farm as a time to focus on the importance of family and not find a solution or strategy to address the problems on the farm.
I encourage you all to pull up a chair to the Thanksgiving table this year and choose topics of conversation that don’t resolve around cows or the milk check. Instead, look to those that fill your heart with love and talk about what’s going on in their life.
