As the calendar flips to September, the days grow longer even as the hours of daylight dwindle. The to-do list seems endless: finish chopping corn, make the fourth cutting hay, haul manure, put up high moisture corn and the list goes on.
Days and nights blur together. My husband and I are truly like ships passing in the night, reminiscent of the early days of our relationship when we lived 500 miles apart and relied on phone calls for connection.
Finding Grace in Exhaustion
When loneliness creeps in, I’m reminded of my husband’s exhaustion. I try to extend grace to him, knowing he rises before daylight, heads to the dairy to outline the day’s tasks before jumping into the chopper, where he will spend the majority of his day.
Meanwhile, I’m up early to make breakfast, start laundry, and get our high school freshman out the door and to school before turning to my ‘day job.’ As my task of feeding the chopping crew nears its end, I’ve volunteered to feed the varsity football team—some 60-plus players. Any spare moment has me back in the kitchen, and I wonder if I’ve taken this on to fill the void of loneliness.
Missing the Mess and Noise
With our oldest two kids in college, the house is strangely quiet. The doors are no longer constantly opening and closing, and my floors stay clean. However, I find myself missing the mess and the noise.
While I miss my husband this time of year, I’ve learned to extend grace to the situation and my feelings. I call him regularly, making an effort to talk about more than just farm work. I share stories from my day, like a conversation with a producer, or I simply listen. Sometimes a farmer just needs someone to listen to them.
The Little Things Make a Big Difference
This time of year, I feel like a single mom. My husband doesn’t like that analogy. Despite clocking in 15-plus hours, the other day he managed to pull off his boots, come inside and go up the stairs, and knock on our youngest son’s door.
“I heard you had a heck of a game last night,” he says. “I wish I could have been there. Way to make us all proud.”
I nearly lost it. The next morning my 14-year-old was in the best mood ever. Sometimes the little things make a big difference. Remember that. Put a note in the lunches you make. Send a fun text or photo to your spouse. Call and share stories or just listen to them vent. Small actions can significantly impact someone’s day.
As we navigate this busy season, let’s not forget to find grace in our exhaustion and find joy in the little things. Let’s remain connected, even if it’s just through a kind word or a simple gesture. From one farm wife to another, we are in this together.
