Nobody enjoys having to be the bearer of bad news. However, as the leader of your operation, having hard conversations with employees can sometimes be part of the job.
According to Brooke Vuckovic, a clinical professor of leadership at Kellogg, all too often leaders keep on kicking the can, hoping that the issue with an employee will resolve itself. But more times than not, it doesn’t. Vuckovic provides the following tips to consider when delivering negative feedback.
Clarify Your Purpose
Before diving into the tough talk, state why you’re having the conversation in the first place.
“To clarify your purpose is to understand why you must have this conversation—beyond the specific behavior at hand,” she says. “Being clear is going to give you some momentum and it’s going to allow you to roll over that emotional speed bump.”
Prepare for Conflicting Statements
According to Vuckovic, there’s a very high likelihood that new information about the employee or situation will emerge during the conversation. Often this will challenge your understanding of the issue.
“If you assume that [there will be new information], then you are less likely to be surprised and thrown on your heels,” Vuckovic says.
To prepare for this possibility, she suggests asking yourself a few prompts:
- What’s your story of the problem?
- What story might this other person tell about the same problem?
When listening to the other side of the story, put yourself in your employee’s shoes and consider:
- Have I turned a blind eye to something?
- Was I unclear on what my expectations were?
Knowing that new, conflicting information may surface helps prevent you from being thrown off-guard.
Commit to Listening
Leaders often want to get through hard conversations as quickly as possible. In an effort to get the conversation over with, they fail to make it productive.
“They can lose sight of the absolute discipline and rigor and presence that’s required for the rest of the conversation, which is where the learning is going to occur,” Vuckovic says.
To make the discussion impactful, be sure to offer the employee a chance to respond. Taking notes and repeating what they say ensures that you don’t miss any important information and the employee feels valued.
Vuckovic suggests also having an exit strategy.
“You want to ensure that, by the end of your conversation, all agreements are completely clear to all parties—and that may simply be that you are going to talk about this again tomorrow,” she says. “You’ve clarified the next steps and your commitments to one another.”
While having hard conversations is not a fun part of the job, it’s necessary to ensure your operation continues to run smoothly. The next time you find yourself preparing for a tough talk, be sure to keep Vuckovic’s recommendations in mind.
