Everybody’s been stuck at some point in their life. Maybe you’ve felt stuck about knowing how to move forward in your career. Maybe you’ve felt stuck between two people’s different opinions. Maybe you’ve felt stuck because you are trying to do too many things at once. Maybe you’ve just felt stuck because you are tired or angry or frustrated.
“What happens when you’re on fire?” asks Kacee Bohle, founder and CEO at AGRIMINDS. “You stop, drop and roll. That’s the first thing that I advise when you feel stuck. Let’s stop and see what’s actually going on, then we can go forward from there.”
Feeling Stuck is Normal
Bohle says being stuck is a normal situation people find themselves in. To get unstuck, take a 360-degree evaluation of your reality. What’s actually going on? What’s the root of why you’re feeling the way that you are right now?
Although there isn’t one magical way to get unstuck, Bohle suggests it starts by looking inside.
“It’s going to be different for everybody, and it really depends on all the other factors you have going into this as well,” she says. “For example, what season of life are you in? Who else is involved in your decision making? What can you actually do right now? What resources are available to you? It’s just not this cookie cutter answer where I can say, if you’re stuck, do this thing and you’re a feel all better. That’s just not reality.”
But everyone can sit back and evaluate what’s going on in their life a little more. Bohle uses a Japanese concept called ikigai to get her started.
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that translates to ‘a reason for being’ or ‘a reason to get up in the morning.’ Bohle says it’s essentially about finding what gives your life purpose, meaning and joy.
The four questions are simple ways to get yourself thinking, she says. They include:
- Am I doing stuff that I love?
- Am I doing stuff that I’m good at?
- Am I able to get paid for it?
- Does the world need what I have?
Finding a healthy balance leads to a more fulfilled life, Bohle says. But sometimes, it’s not possible to do any of those things.
“Sometimes we’re leaning really heavy in one of those areas and not even touching the other three,” she explains. “But if you know what your center could be – if you know what to get back to or what you’re working towards – it’s a lot easier to know what your next step is going to be.”
Action Creates Clarity
So, then what? Bohle says if you’re not sure what your next step is, just start doing something.
“If it feels aligned, keep doing more of that,” she says. “If it doesn’t, then shift gears and pivot into something else. Start dipping your toes into different areas.”
This can look like many things from making a big decision to make a career move to volunteering in your community. For others, it can look like having conversations and meeting new people to get that spark back, she says.
“Take small steps toward feeling something positive. The more that you do that, the more clarity you’re going to get,” Bohle says.
Do Something Unpredictable
It’s easy to get analysis paralysis when you feel stuck.
“I am a big thinker,” she says. “Sometimes I overthink it to death to the point I have considered every possible solution, and now I’m still stuck and don’t know what to do. You must do something, and that something is going to tell you whether this was the right move or not. But at least you’re doing the process of elimination, and realizing that’s the thing I shouldn’t be doing.”
In one of Bohle’s favorite shows, Covert Affairs, a spy shared that the best spy advice she ever received was to “be unpredictable.”
“I’ve always loved that advice,” Bohle says. “Don’t be ordinary. Change your routines. Do something people wouldn’t expect you to do. When you start doing stuff differently, it changes something inside of you.”
From taking a different road home than you typically do to ordering something new the next time you go to a restaurant, she says breaking out of routine can help you get unstuck.
Stop Spinning
Everything that we know or believe has either been caught or taught, Bohle says.
“If you think about our industry and who we’ve learned from, who we’ve been around, we’ve probably been influenced by them and conditioned by them,” she explains. “It takes a conscious effort to change what we’ve been taught.”
Bohle believes there’s been a lack of knowledge about available resources.
“When I think back to my professional career, and even my education, I don’t recall anybody sharing that with me,” she says. “It wasn’t until I sought out these resources that I came across them. I think there’s a lack of knowledge about how many resources exist to support you in whatever thing that you’re dealing with.”
She also says there’s a fear that it may not work, will hurt someone’s feelings or inconvenience others.
“It’s one of those endless cycles,” Bohle says. “We’re stuck spinning, spinning, spinning, and we don’t know how to get out of the whirlwind, which is why it’s so important to communicate with either your trusted circle or a professional. It can be as simple as raising your hand and saying, ‘I need some help.’”
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