Are You Actively Listening to Your Farm Employees?
How many times have you thought to yourself, “I’m just wasting my breath. Nobody listens anyway.” As farm leaders, it can be frustrating talking to employees or family members just to have it go in one ear and out the other. Attention spans are short, and we’ve all had to over explain things or repeat ourselves time and time again. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory of being a farm leader. But whether we care to admit it or not, we’re probably just as guilty of not listening.
According to Bob Milligan, senior consultant at Dairy Strategies, practicing active listening is a way to strengthen your leadership skills by reinforcing relationships, building trust and better communicating with your team.
“We typically think of listening as the words we hear when someone speaks to us,” Milligan says. “Active listening expands that idea of listening. Rather than just hearing the words, in active listening, we are trying to completely understand what is included in and behind those words.”
To actively listen means listening for the content and emotions behind a message while providing feedback on both. And it’s often easier said than done.
“Most of the time when we are listening, we are also planning our response,” Milligan says. “Active listening typically takes 100% of our mental capacity leaving little or no time for considering a response while the other person is speaking.”
To actively listen, focus on both the message being sent and the underlying emotions, Milligan states. This means listening intently to the words, noticing the tone of the voice to detect emotions, and carefully observing the body language again for hints of emotions.
Once the speaker is finished, take time to prepare a thoughtful response. This can sometimes be awkward as the other person is typically expecting an immediate response. However, it’s important to not rush into a response that’s not genuine.
“’Listening’ actively for the disappointment, frustration, defensiveness, anger, relief, excitement, etc. in other team members is key to team success,” Milligan adds.
Sara Keinath, Youth Development Extension Educator at Michigan State University, provides five steps to aid in the process of active listening.
- Pay attention. Avoid being distracted by factors such as side conversations or technology. In addition, avoid using the time when the other person is talking to mentally prepare your rebuttal.
- Show you are listening. Your non-verbal body language will speak volumes! Use eye contact, head nods and facial expressions to convey your interest. Small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh-huh” will encourage the speaker to continue.
- Provide feedback. Reflect on what has been said by paraphrasing; use language such as "What I am hearing is ___" and "Sounds like you are saying ___." Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say ___?" "Is this what you mean?" Periodically summarize the speaker's comments.
- Defer judgement. Try to approach the situation with curiosity for the other person’s point of view. When one is judging another before fully listening, they tend to interrupt. This should be avoided, as it will only frustrate the speaker and limit your ability to understand.
- Respond appropriately. Keeping in mind your goal to improve your understanding of the other person, you can express your opinions respectfully. Be candid, but also treat the other person like you would like to be treated.
For more on farm leadership, read:
- Set Micro Goals to Accomplish Big Dreams in 2023
- Put in a Gate to Help Create Farm Work-Life Balance
- Delegation: The Difference Between Owning and Doing
